I read a lot of blogs that somehow deal with depression, mostly from young intelligent independent women. I am split in my opinions of this - I'm ridulously sad, because it's a terrible, awful feeling and existence, but I'm also gladdened, because at least I have company.

I'm depressed a lot. Most people just see the tip of my problem called "moodiness." It was acceptable, the brooding, long naps, restlessness, weight loss and gain, as a teenager - it's almost expected. In adulthood, it's debilitating. Along with the constant search for reason and purpose, I have to cope with daily moodswings. I have always been horrendously bad at handling my emotions - I either wear them on my sleeve or tightly repress them. I know no mood moderacy. And I don't understand why it's in my head.

I'm trying to slog through a book called Depression, by Ed Welch, a Christian counsellor. It's an excellent book - it doesn't make me feel guilty and pathetic like most Christian literature. He calls depression a form of suffering, which if you have felt it and sat in it for a while, it most certainly is.